FML to BFFL

I don’t understand the people who say that autumn is their favorite sport. Yes, it’s pretty. And yes, there is the bonus of my birthday being on September 9^th (which I’m sure is the real reason that people across the globe love this dreary season). Between the showers of rain that seem to want to make the flowers (still standing) gargantuan monsters and lakes of mud that hide the ugly beasts who cling to your cars with sharpened talons, paralyzing your innocent Prius or Honda CRV.

Practicing sports in the mud isn’t any nicer. True, you get to slide and stomp and splish and splash in the mounds of not-so-chocolatey goodness (if that sounds oddly appealing to some of you). However, no one can argue that they like the feeling of dirt beneath their fingernails (or rather, no one can sanely disagree), or for that matter, in your hair, behind your ears, under your feet or splattered across your face. However, if I’m not here to cheer you up, than what am I doing? And so, here are my Five Reasons Why… that slimy brown gloop is your friend.

1.      For those of you who play sports with goalies, muddy conditions always make it harder for them to be on their game. So shoot! Your BFFL mud has got you covered, you can bet it’s going in.

2.      If you’re feeling slow, Mud has your back. He slows down your opponents and lets you catch your breath, no problem (true, he’ll probably slow you down a little bit too, but he won’t mean too. And anyways, that’s beside the point. Keep it positive!)

3.      If you feel your cleats look too clean and new (making them an envy of the other girls on your team, who therefore won’t pass to you), Mud will give them a good ol’ bear hug and you’re good to go!

4.      Mud loves being the scapegoat. Truly! It’s his favorite role to play. If you’re having a bad game, Mud will gladly take full responsibility, no questions asked. He’s just a good friend like that.

5.      And five, Mud is the kind of friend that will walk you all the way home. He isn’t shy; he’ll walk right up to your parents and introduce himself! He’s polite that way, you see.

Still not convinced that Mud is your friend? Fine, then go buy yourself a Swiffer Sweeper and be done with it. At least I tried… happy fall!!!

The Battle Between Turf and Grass

The on-going battle between turf and grass has been heating up as more and more turf fields are being built. Now, not only professional athletes get to feel the extra cushion from the little black ‘turflets’, but both colleges and high schools are also installing the plastic green grass in between their bleachers. Both turf and grass have their strengths and weaknesses. Turf doesn’t need to be cut, supplies athletes with a soft, even surface to play on, and doesn’t get plucked away by cleats (unlike grass, that seems to ‘disappear’ in the commonly-used areas of the field). Both hurt when you fall, although turf doesn’t normally stain your jersey. And both flood.

However, you can’t get around the fact that Turf isn’t real. I used to joke around with my friends about how our grandchildren will one day call grass synthetic turf instead of calling turf synthetic grass. But now, I’m starting to think that this might actually happen. The radical-thinking, kind-of-sort-of-really-crazy side of me is screaming, FIRST SYNTHETIC GRASS, THEN SYNTHETIC PETS, THEN SYNTHETIC PEOPLE! THE WORLD IS GOING TO BE TAKEN OVER BY ROBOTS! (Of course, I would never say this in public, only on the Internet…) But then, I quickly calm myself down and stop screaming inside my head.

Turf is now not only being used for athletics, but also for everyday landscaping. Someday, I predict there’ll be more ‘turflets’ than there is dirt, and more green plastic shreds than there are blades of grass. However, because I blog about high school sports, I’ll resist from pretending to know anything about modern landscaping.

From my perspective as a soccer player, each surface gives you a completely different game. Grass is less predictable regarding how the ball is going to bounce off of the ground, and Turf makes for a faster paced game (because of how the ball rolls faster). Most players have mixed feelings regarding the battle; neither side is generally favored. Between the turf and the grass, it generally comes down to hand-to-hand combat, angry squabbles on the playground and heated arguments at the dinner table. Which is better, turf or grass? Friendships have been ruined and families have been divided. Which side are you on?